Honestly, I do not know. I usually do not stress over this subject, I prefer to let go and just feel, but today it just crossed my mind. I guess I was thinking how interesting it is that in one year people that meant the world to you become complete strangers to you emotionally and people that were strangers to you back then became the world to you now…and the shift of feelings is total, honest and deep… So taking this into consideration… How does one recognize the perfect match, the soul mate, that person that completes oneself totally. Does that even exist? Are they more true loves, or soul mates for that matter?
Many of us are searching for “the one,” wondering if we’ve found them, if we ever will, and how we would know if we did. It is an awful lot of pressure, finding that one perfect match.
I guess the best thing would be to move from the idea of just Soulmates to something that makes more sense nowadays: Lifemates. Instead of just one person to move you, to shape your thoughts and your heart, there could be many. One may come into your life, even if for the most painful of moments, to bear witness to your life, to teach you a lesson or a number of things, to prepare you for the next step, to make you appreciate someone valuable later, or to help you recognize sincere deep love later on. It could be love, but it could also be loss and forgiveness. Forgiveness is very important in shifting you to the next level, and helping you to just take the lesson from the past, but leave the rest there. The idea of letting go is based on teaching yourself to feel nothing – no regret, no hatred, simply plain nothing! And believe me, it is all about training your mind to think into this direction…and then yes…the theory with the so-called beloved one becoming a stranger makes sense.
However, we should forgive, but not forget and this is not in the painful, resentful way. It is about taking the experience with you, accepting it, appropriate it and learn from it.
More, this builds up to support to the idea of lifemates which I believe is one of the most profound concepts in love and relationships.
Why? Well, I remember an unpleasant heartache a while ago spurred by what in my mind…and reality checked in later, was a betrayal. I felt so much anger, pain, I felt invaluable and that there could be no good men to ever trust left in the world. At those times of intense pain, such a broad and generalized statement hardly seemed silly or dramatic at all. That was until I met someone who was truly remarkable. He was one of the good guys. Smart, hot, funny, and most of all, loving and kind. He was one of those whose soul you just knew was genuine. He allowed me to believe in the goodness of men and love again.
He came into my life at a time when I was very numb, icy, unforgiving with the male race around due to training my mind to let go, and surprisingly brought some much needed warmth and laughter to my life. Then I understood, that the belief of lifemates made sense and it was actually liberating. My not so pleasant experience with my ex made me stronger, but also purified my mind and heart of a long past relationship in order to let myself be loved differently, how I wanted to. Yes, it involved pain…but pain makes you feel alive and purifies. As for the new entrant in my life, his role was to calm my spirit and give back to me the belief in people and genuine feelings. He taught me about full compatibility with someone, building a strong connection and TRUST. So, in fact, he is healing my past pain, while showing me a new perspective. I never asked, but I am sure I am having my own role in his life…and this is what escalates to the concept of Lifemates – people that come into your life for a reason, to elevate your spirit, to give you a lesson, to leave a mark. We should let all people that come into our lives to inspire us. No one ever comes into our life without a reason.
It is true though, it is a challenge to think this way. Typically in various relationships there is dating, a breakup, maybe even a rebound. There is crying, anger, sadness, shock, any number of emotions related to the experience of loss and grief. But I believe we live in times where we need to have a new way of looking at things…it will help us move from the stressful concept of The One.
What if we let go of the notion that he was our one and only? Instead we may embrace the fact that he may have just been one of the many sages to light our path in the journey of life. Appreciate his past presence, take the lesson, leave any kind of emotional attachment behind and move to the next life experience, with trust and love for our life and selves. Moving from the idea of soulmates to lifemates ultimately brings us more hope and less pain. We need not to cling desperately to one person, living in fear of loss or rejection. We need not even to worry that we missed him entirely, that we ignored a “sign,” or lost our chance. In opening our hearts as widely as we can, we can only allow in more love and compassion, for little is the possibility that in caring we ever truly lose out.