Decoding MEN… a subjective view.

Make-A-Man-HappyThroughout my share of experiences with men and having a gang of male friends which shared with me all kinds of stories all these years, I learned a few essential things about men, that I felt like sharing today. I may be wrong, I may be subjective… I am not preaching, but I believe that in the below points there is a fair share of truth.

There are key things women need to understand about men when it comes to finding, sustaining, and enjoying a valuable healthy relationship. The most important is all men have similarities, but all men are not the same (yup – they are not all pigs as we tend to say after a failed experience). If you can understand a man without feeling the need to judge him then it will be easier to keep him. Men want a woman who cares enough to enhance him, but appreciates him enough not to want to change him. So, for the men reading this, I am open to critics, if I hit the wrong buttons below.

1. Men (contrary to what most women think sometimes) Do Want A Relationship.

A good man, a real man, a gentleman, does want a relationship. Men just don’t want the stress, arguments, and issues that they’ve experienced in previous relationships. It’s not your duty to prove to him that you’re different than the women he dated before you. Actually, all you have to do is be yourself. Yup, as simple as that! Men desire a relationship just as women do; they’re just not inclined to rush into having it. Men operate on a different time clock than women, so it’s important to understand that when he’s ready for a relationship, it will be clear. So, honestly just be patient. Give him time to figure it out, and do not put too much emotion into it. It is not that personal all the time. And if it is, you guys are not compatible anyways. If the man is smart, he’ll recognize that you’re a good woman and understand that you would be a valuable part of his pursuit of true success and happiness.

2. Men Like Challenges.

What I learned the hard way is that if he doesn’t have to work to get you then he won’t work too much to keep you. A woman must be intriguing enough to make him want to know more about her. The honest truth is that if you can’t make a man wonder then more than likely you won’t be able to make him commit either. Don’t give him everything he wants at once; give it to him when you’re ready for him to have it. Men are patient when it comes to quality, so if he feels like you’re worth it, he’ll face whatever challenge you put him through. However, don’y play games with him. The minute he feels like you’re playing, he’ll stop trying. If you give in to him easily he’ll leave easily. Challenge him but do not push him away through being to unapproachable; if he doesn’t rise up to a normal challenge then he’s below your standards.

3. Men Need Support.

Make sure your man knows that you really believe in him. If you invest in his dreams now, in return he will make sure that fruits of that hard work also bring you happiness later. Men appreciate women who understand the importance of being supportive. Don’t ever pass up an opportunity to be there for him. It doesn’t matter how small the event is; knowing you took the time to make it, matters to him. Believe in his dreams, and help him fulfill them. Push him towards his dreams. Supporting a real man is a balance of celebrating him while challenging him.

4. Men Desire A Companion.

Be both a friend and a partner to your man. Understanding him is far more important than just listening to him and agreeing with him. Try your hardest to see where he’s coming from in every perception. Don’t try to be his mother!!! No man wants to be treated like a child by the woman he loves, regardless of whether or not he’s acting like one. He’ll forget things and make mistakes, but it’s important for you to understand that nagging him will never be an effective way to get his attention. Let him know you’re there for him and not against him. Care enough to talk to him in a way that lets him know you’re still on his side. Be there, right beside him, not in front of him, not behind him, and not standing over him. Make him feel like you’re in his corner and not the one he’s fighting.

5. Men Like Confidence!!!

Make sure you know the true value of what you bring to the table and be confident. Men are attracted to women who know their value; they just don’t like women who try to show their worth by ignoring his or putting him down. The only time a man will have a problem is when you come off as full of yourself. It’s great that you can do it on your own, but don’t forget to make him feel like he can still contribute in some way to your life. However, you do not have to play smaller than you are either – just don’t over do your independence. If he’s a real man, your confidence in yourself will make him feel like you’re an asset to his life.

6. Men Need Their Ego Pampered.

You don’t have to lie to him, but a wise woman understands that if she makes him feel strong like Superman, he’ll treat her like Wonder Woman. Even the most confident man needs the occasional reassurance. It doesn’t matter how many awards, honors, or titles he holds, men love it when their woman build them up. When he stumbles and hesitates, remind him of who he is to you and the greatness you see in him. He may not be the prince charming from the fairytales, but he rule your dreams. Simple words like “you can do it” or “I believe in you” can get even the most stagnant man moving when encouraging words come from a genuine woman. If you know he’s a good man, take the time to say the little things needed to make him feel like one. Be his number one supporter.

7. Men Need Reminders.

Everyone forgets. It is a flaw of our humanity. And men, well, men forget a little more than normal based on scientific evidence; so it’s important to give him occasional reminders. It’s not that he forgets because he doesn’t care, it’s just that you, as with most women, naturally pay attention to details better than men. If you really want him to remember then you will have to put your pride and emotions to the side and take the time to remind him. If you’re not willing to remind him, then it is not fair for you to have an attitude when and if he forgets. If you’re the type of woman who keeps track of three-month anniversaries and what you all did on your third date, then you can’t realistically expect him to remember all of that. It doesn’t mean he cares any less about the relationship; it just means that other things stick out to him. Remind him when you want him to remember. It won’t kill you to do so. If he’s a quick learner then he won’t need you to give him more than one or two reminders.

8. Men Desire A Fair Balance.

If he feels like nothing he does will make you happy then he will stop trying. Be mindful of how you treat him and the way you talk to him. Just because you’re angry with him doesn’t mean you have to start a war with him. Learn how to show him you’re unhappy without coming off as if you take pride in how well you can get mad. Keep it consistent. If he makes you mad, communicate the offense so that in the future he can learn from it. Don’t just get mad with him for the sake of being mad. Nothing frustrates a man more than dealing with an attitude he doesn’t know what he did to cause!!! And believe me, I am still working on this point as a woman! Keep a fair balance. He shouldn’t feel like he’s dating two different women every time it’s “that time of the month” for you.

9. Men Love Having Something To Wonder About.

If he feels he knows everything there is to know about you, then his interest in you slowly starts to die. This doesn’t mean you should hide parts of you from him, it just means you should continue to mature and develop personally. However, don’t be so mysterious that he grows restless trying to figure you out. You must be balanced in your intentions. Make sure he feels like he knows you, but keep growing, so he feels the need to get to know you better. Do things to strike his imagination and get the wheels in his head turning. Be fascinating. Be so captivating that he can’t stop thinking about you. Become what he daydreams about.

10. Men Like Surprises.

It’s important for you to know what he likes and what he’s into. You can use that information to show him something about you that he probably doesn’t know. Be different and be exciting. Men like women who are fun and he’ll want to spend more time with you if he knows he’ll have a good time with you. Don’t let sex be the only time you’re fun to him.

Well, that was my humble view over things – manly ones. I am open to comments 🙂

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